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SallyK /
IMUserTest2A paragraph from Scott S's memo: "I had a short experience at Ferris State University and learned what not to do at school. (C) After that I began my eight year career as an apprentice mold maker. (C) The job entailed making prototype plastic models and molds. (C) In addition to mold making I was in purchasing. (C)This job is the reason I chose to major in teaching industrial technology."(S) Do the claims do what they should? His claims explain where he's at in life, at least as far as work. He could try to find ways to connect to people who don't have jobs like his or aren't interested in mold-making. What do you want the claims to do, as an audience? People reading this would want to find more connections. He might explain his decision process when he chose the job, and lessons he's learned along the way that could apply to anyone's lives. |