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PartII

Take a chunk in the middle or at the end and look at it. Identify a Claim (The point of the story), Support (specific story, offered as evidence), Warrant (explanation of why this matters).

analyze: Look at the claim, does it do what it should for this paper?

What do I want as a reader from this intro memo I'm reading. Is this put in a way that would interest us?

Writer: Josh R.

Results. My party life style got me onto a lot of trouble in my late teens and early twenties. (<-Claim) Shortly after my failed senior year my parent had had enough and threw my out. Because I was working construction I was making what I thought to be decent money and I continued to burn the candle at both ends. (<-Support) Later on that year a few friends and I were on our way to a party and we broke down on the side of I-75, while preparing to posse up and get into another vehicle my two best friends were run down and killed by a drunk driver who never even slowed down after he sideswiped both of our trucks that were on the shoulder of the freeway.

Between then and now I worked as a carpenter, I enjoyed my work and was really good at it but not what you would call successful. You’ve all heard the expression work hard play hard? Sounds great but it doesn’t work, or at least it didn’t work for me, more like you play you pay.

What I learned and hope to pass on to you all. (<-Warrant) The many setbacks and tragedies I experienced should have opened my eyes and showed me where the road that I was on lead, it didn’t until last fall when I lost yet another job because I failed to show up on an important day at work. I spent those ten or so years living under my self created theory that we are not here for a long time we’re here for a good time. Today I still hang onto this notion but have learned to prioritize my life and time and do something with what’s left of my life.

My comments: Need to add headings. Try to get more to the point of why this background is important to this class. Get us to value what you're saying.